Nourish Your Self Esteem
Self esteem is an inner attitude of self-respect, sense of personal worth. It is about liking yourself, liking relating with others, feeling secure, and not be diminished by others. When our self-esteem is higher, we not only feel better about ourselves, we are more resilient as well.
When our self-esteem is high, we are likely to experience common emotional wounds such as rejection and failure as less painful, and bounce back from them more quickly. We are also less vulnerable to anxiety; we release less cortisol into our bloodstream when under stress, and it is less likely to linger in our system.
Here are five ways to nourish your self-esteem –
AFFIRM YOURSELF. Positive affirmations work for those whose self-esteem is already high. For affirmations to work when your self-esteem is lagging, tweak them to make them more believable. For example, change “I’m going to be a great success!” to “I’m going to persevere until I succeed!”
DEVELOP YOUR COMPETENCIES. Self-esteem is built by demonstrating real ability and achievement in areas of our lives that matter to us. If you pride yourself on being a good cook, throw more dinner parties. If you’re a good runner, sign up for races and train for them. In short, figure out your core competencies and find opportunities and careers that accentuate them.
ACCEPT YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS. One of the trickiest aspects of improving self-esteem is that when we feel bad about ourselves we tend to be more resistant to compliments — even though that is when we most need them. So, set yourself the goal to tolerate compliments when you receive them, even if they make you uncomfortable (and they will).
ELIMINATE SELF CRITICISM. When our self-esteem is low, we are likely to damage it even further by being self-critical. Since our goal is to enhance our self-esteem, we need to substitute self-criticism. Whenever your self-critical inner monologue kicks in, ask yourself what you would say to a dear friend if they were in your situation. Doing so will avoid damaging your self-esteem further with critical thoughts, and help build it up instead.
AFFIRM YOUR REAL WORTH. Make a list of qualities you have that are meaningful in a specific context. For example, if you failed in one of your responsibilities as a supervisor, list qualities that make you a good leader. Then write a brief essay about why the quality is valuable and likely to be appreciated by other people in the future. Do the exercise whenever you need a self-esteem boost.
The bottom line is improving self-esteem requires a bit of work, as it involves developing and maintaining healthier emotional habits but doing so, and especially doing so correctly, will provide a great emotional and psychological return on your investment.
