Spotting the Un-Coachable
You can be the best coach in the world, but if the person you are coaching doesn’t want your help, no amount of coaching you do will work. Rather than waste time and resources (and your attention that best goes to one who wants to be coached), be mindful of signs that indicate whether a person is will to be coached or otherwise.
While there are many signs that might indicate that a person has no interest being coached, there are two primary indicators that reveal these type of individuals –
#1 THEY DON’T THINK THEY HAVE A PROBLEM
Even though self-awareness is important for job performance, and leadership effectiveness, it’s in short supply in today’s workplace. Typically, if someone is unaware, there’s a consensus about their behavior. Here are some of the consistent behaviors of un-self-aware individuals –
They won’t listen to, or accept, critical feedback.
They cannot empathize with, or take the perspective of, others.
They have difficulty “reading a room” and tailoring their message to their audience.
They possess an inflated opinion of their contributions and performance.
They are hurtful to others without realizing it.
They take credit for successes and blame others for failures.
While there are ways to help such individuals see the error of their ways, coaching won’t be the immediate and most effective solution at this point. Skip your heroic measure and move on. When the coast is clear, find your coachable moment.
#2 THEY THINK EVERYONE ELSE IS THE PROBLEM
It’s hard to help people who don’t think they have a problem, but it’s impossible to fix people who think everyone else is the problem. People who think their opinions are superior to others are most prone to overestimating their relevant knowledge and ignoring chances to learn more.
Also, people who act as if they’re superior to others have trouble, or flat out refuse, to take responsibility for their poor behavior. They tend to believe that they’re always right, and are unwilling to consider any opposing opinions from others. They may even throw a fit when someone contradicts them.
Having this kind of complex doesn't always make someone a bad person, but believing that coaching will somehow be a helpful intervention is incorrect. Once you see them willing to self-reflect and make positive internal changes, that’s when you have your coachable moment.
