Effecting Influence
Leadership is all about influencing people; everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others – you cannot lead people, get things done, or rally others to a course without building healthy relationships. As such, we need to know how to influence others and use it to an advantage.
Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People, touches on this component of human interaction. While dated (it’s been more than 80 years since the book was first published), the lessons he shares are very simple yet powerful when implemented.
Their power is in their timelessness. Even today, when you use and apply the lessons at work or home, you’ll see worhthwhile results in your relationships. Here’s a summary of lessons drawn from the book –
Techniques in Handling People
Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Ways to Make People Like You
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Be a good listener; encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Win People to Your Way of Thinking
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Show respect for the other person’s opinions; never say, “You’re wrong.”
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Let the other person feel that an idea is his or hers.
Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Let the other person save face.
Praise the slightest improvement, and praise every improvement.
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement; make the fault seem easy to correct.
